moved by: Andrew McMahon
An exercise in memory, and a tribute to my favorite arist through two decades.
I write this on the plane to Red Rocks to see all three of his projects: Andrew McMahon and the Wilderness, Jack’s Mannequin and Something Corporate. If you know, you know…that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and worth the trip.
To begin, here’s a timeline of my love for this artist. It starts with arguably one of the most emo songs ever written (in the best way), and continues on to a meet & greet with Andrew and my 6 month old.
Circa is the key word here.
2004:
I’m in the backseat of a car driven by this guy I have a crush on, a year older, who, alas - is in love with my best friends. We’re both back there singing along to your standard teenager in the early 2000’s hip hop, probably some crude “My Neck, My Back” in there. All of a sudden: the riff to “Punk Rock Princess” enters the chat. I’ve started to get IN to this kind of millennial punk: Simple Plan, the most emo of the Avril early catalogue. But this song hits me. It creates me, it stays with me for a lifetime - it makes me want to be: a punk rock princess. So I probably go home and download it on Limewire. At some point, probably also illegally on the internet, I also run into “I Woke Up in a Car.” Changed. My life has been soundtracked.
Cue: Konstantine. At another friend’s house, and she says, Oh, you gotta hear THIS Something Corporate song. It’s mad long, so buckle up. We surround the computer for the full 8 minutes and 45 seconds of pure, youthful, emo heartbreak. I’m stunned. Why did Konstantine hit me so hard? I don’t know. It was the time, it was the place, surrounded by friends, living day to day in a box full of CDs and teenage emotion. Later on, in physics class, because I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, I would write all the words of the song into the left margin of my notebook. I knew them all and I probably still do. I saw myself somewhere in there: the blonde hair, the 11:11 (more to come on that,) the “nights when were drinking,” the feelings of heartbreak and wondering what goes through the person’s mind that you are, so innocently and stupidly, in love with when you’re 17.
Also (circa) 2024: my sister’s best friend leaves her trapper keeper of CD’s at our house. They’ve been listening to emo longer than me, starting with Good Charlotte and then going a little bit harder into Senses Fail territory. I comb through it and find “North.” Ah! I love Something Corporate! Borrowing (stealing) this. It became mind in more ways than one, forever, and my god, when I listen to the lyrics now, what an interesting teenager I was. It’s SO poetic, and a lot of it doesn’t make sense to me even now, honestly. North is dark with catastrophic crescendos of choruses and sentences like “I can still be ruthless if you let me” that for whatever reason, tattooed my poetic, quirky little heart. We have the blue vinyl record now, and it lives up on the wall, showcased as one of our “G.O.A.T” albums.
This is where I lose track of time, and things start to fade into each other, but there’s Warped Tours involved, but never seeing Soco live. I remember they toured once with Yellowcard when I was in high school, but I didn’t go, because I wasn’t tuned into the whole live concert thing yet. But I heard about it and I lamented not being able to be there, especially because that was Soco’s last tour. For a long time.
2005-2009: College
I lose my shit - can it be true? The guy from Something Corporate has a side project? “We Were Made for Each Other” into “You Can Breathe” is the is the fresh 2-for-1 I needed, because I’ve already downloaded every single Something Corporate song that you could possibly find, even the shitty quality unreleased tracks, and listened to them 70 times. I become Jack’s Mannequin.
“Everything in Transit” sweeps me off my feet easily, as I’m already completely immersed in the pop punk and emo world by now. Yellowcard, Starting Line, The Used, Paramore…they all live in my head rent free as I sing, stare at Facebook, and run on the treadmill to the same 12 songs over, and over again. My laptop is sometimes used for schoolwork, but always used for LimeWire…I truly lived in fear of getting arrested. There were that many downloads happening.
Freshman year I lived on a floor with all girls, many of which (mostly Canadien hockey players), also love Jack’s Mannequin. It’s a Staple on Ledges third floor (along with the Rent soundtrack).
It’s around this time that Andrew McMahon gets diagnosed with Leukemia. By now, I know who the frontman of my two favorite bands are, which is rare because I really have no idea, nor did I care, about the people in the bands I was listening to. I still couldn’t tell you most of their names. But I knew everything about him, and the guys in SoCo, and listened to all their side projects when they called it quits.
I’m shattered by his journey, that I’m somehow able to watch. Maybe through his website…MySpace…Facebook…definitely his documentary, “Dear Jack.” I bawl my eyes out at that movie and triumphantly celebrate when he announces that he’s in remission.
Glass Passenger is released - the soundtrack to his cancer journey. I eat it up, I cry with him, I learn, I keep loving everything he creates. I always come back to Everything in Transit, a love letter to southern California. I start to develop a deep, visceral urge to move out there.
2010: So I do.
List of Andrew McMahon concerts, in a guestimated order.
Jack’s Mannequin &
Jack’s Mannequin & GooGoo Dolls at Sacred Heart University with the hockey girls (mind
Jack’s Mannequin at my college, Quinniac University
Andrew McMahon solo at the Troubadour (I’m solo as well)
Something Corporate reunion (first time I’d FINALLY see them) at Bamboozle
Something Corporate in Anaheim (met Andrew)
Dear Jack Benefit at El Rey
Dear Jack Benefit year 2 at El Rey with Bobby, Pat, Larson, my close LA crew
Jack’s Mannequin at Coachella
Jack’s Mannequin at Viper Room (dragged Matt, now husband)
Jack’s Mannequin House of Blues Boston with my sister
Andrew McMahon acoustic show at Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, MA (small 92.5 the River radio show)
Something Corporate at When We Were Young fest in Vegas with Olivia
